ohmyscream | Penance Inbox

Yes. Though admirable, it can cause someone to become short sighted. You must think of the feelings of those around you as well.

[ Mahaad snapped, but he clearly regretted it as soon it was out of his mouth. ]

I apologize, Annie...it has been a tough day.

Edited 2022-06-11 01:34 (UTC)

Well, it was impulsive but I didn't have much of...

[ She is so glad he can't see her face right now. Too many feelings are at war. ]

I get it.

[ She can see something was at play. ]

I was in a race to see if I could save them. I couldn't. We were... They died before I could save them. I had no help and would have been the next one sacrificed if I wasn't tougher than I look. I was trying to get their souls away from the abomination that they'd been fed to.

[ Mahaad listened carefully. For being as cheerful as she was, it seemed she had been through some things. He also felt empathy towards her; he had sacrificed himself in an attempt to help everyone from Bakura's threat, but it did not go over well. Listening to the story, he sighed. ]

We had decided to provide a sacrifice to god, in the hopes that it would quell his anger. That is why I was at the church with...Atem. I had given him the spell he needed to perform, explained that he needed to only utilize the sacrifice then remove himself carefully from the spell.

Magicks that are of the earth and of gods are not for us to take into ourselves, but for us to use in their name. He continued the spell and the magic that met his soul was dark...darker then even the magic I use.

[ He squeezes his fist, looking angry again. It looks like he wants to say more, but he's very much trying to restrain himself as he works the bandage up and around to his shoulder with Annie. ]

I don't think we can calm His anger? Whatever reason we are here, it seems He wishes us to repent. The problem is... I don't think it is His right to claim people who haven't died yet or aren't even properly His.

[ Try to argue that to a God who seems more Old Testament right now.

Annie, however, listens to Mahaad. She winces and simply takes the bandage as he passes it. ]

I can see why you're upset. I ended up being capable of challenging the abomination because the... the man who was using us was actually really bad with magic. Like, the one thing he was good at was subterfuge and tricking me into believing I could trust him.

[ Annie humms a bit as she has to tug the bandage slightly. It was trying to slip on her. ]

So Atem didn't listen. Is he aware how bad dark magics can get? I mean, I got literally stuck in a magical realm fighting an abomination with a ritualized series of games because of piss poor magic and I got off light! Ish.

Yes! He is perfectly aware! [ Oh this is Mahaad yelling. It doesn't sound like his voice has gotten louder, but he looks like he is actually expressing himself now. Furrowed brow, running his hand through his hair when it's free. ]

He locked himself away with a being of dark magic for centuries! He knows the toll is can take on his soul. Not only did we study together and I became his teacher while he was still a prince. I told him to pull away before it got too bad, otherwise he would be vulnerable to magic beyond his understanding.

[ Mahaad was still careful with the bandage as they finished, pulling on his black tank top as best he could. ]

You seem to understand magic and the implications of playing around with things that should not be messed with, Annie. Atem did not stop the spell until I pulled him out. He...

[ Mahaad goes quiet, thinking about the promises Atem made to him, looking away so Annie couldn't see his face completly, ]

So he's a dumbass who needs us to tell him no? A ton?

I swar, I am buying a spray bottle and will spritz him every time he thinks of doing something like that.

[ Can he hear her getting huffy? Because Annie is huffy. ]

I get he was trying to do the right thing! But. You cannot win by throwing yourself so deep into that much you lose yourself. I... I know that too.

[ Annie preens slightly under his compliment. ]

Well. I did watch all the Hellrasier movies.

In all seriousness? I was raised to be hyper responsible. I'm the only child my parents could have. My father's business holdings are responsible for over ten thousand people having jobs. I'm supposed to take over someday. I might play the bubble head at times but I take certain things incredibly seriously.

[ Mahaad finally got the bandage attached fully and turns to gently place his back on the couch. ]

He...promised me that he would not go that far, that we would work on depending on each other. [ Mahaad's fists are still clenched tight. ]

I am so furious with him...but I know I cannot continue to be. Like you, I was raised to be a servant to the royal family, so I was supposed to be responsible...disciplined. He is my Pharoah and I must be be there for him.

[ He sighed. ]

He broke faith with you. I don't care he's... your Pharaoh. You can't just lie to your people or ignore advice.

[ Annie is actually mad. Lying to your employees or servants? Totally not cool! At some point Annie is giving him a piece of her mind. She doesn't think right now is a good idea.

Better shelf her anger until Mahaad is better and Atem can truly hear her. ]

But you do need to forgive him. Not for him though. Eventually? You'll feel better. I just... he owes you BIG for this. If he was paying you here I'd say you need hazard pay for pulling him back from that.

For now though? I'm making you tea. You need rest and chamomile is good for you. It helps with inflammation and cramping.

[ Usually it works wonders on her periods but she thinks the soothing effect is more important here. She moves to go get some water warmed up and to her stash of tea. ]

Too bad, I don't have any of my Mom's fancy teas. Then I could really make sure you sleep. She had all kinds of good stuff in her cabinet.

Edited (More bulk!) 2022-06-11 07:04 (UTC)

[ Mahaad nodded but remained silent. Would this place be doomed just like their home? Was there nothing he could do?

Also, why was he so bothered by this? Why was he so mad... ]

I know that he was wanting to do what we believe in. It wasn't wrong. However, his continued activation of the spell became the reason one of his friends was stabbed.

He says he is trying to protect everyone, but his actions do not indicate that he is doing that.

[ Mahaad is careful to get up and open his room door, Abayomi bounding out now to run around. He gets one of her toys and throws it, allowing her to play. ]

I will forgive him, but I suppose I should give myself time as well. I find myself experiencing emotions stronger then I have before.

[ She has no idea what is really troubling Mahaad. She just knows that there's more than him being upset by Atem putting himself in more danger than he should have.

Should she ask? ]

Huh. I mean fair. You know how you'd get in touch with your gods in a desperate time. It couldn't hurt, either. The scripture talks about.... please tell me you basically sacrificed a sheep or goat in a bid to more or less go "hello we have a message or request"? That's almost the right way to go about it?

I'm not sure God is super into the dramatics of a black magic ritual.

[ Annie sighs as she putters about. What can she say? ]

I don't know him. It took me since.... the New Year to stop feeling half-mad from my time in that magical realm. I was jumping at shadows and convinced everything was a trap. I'm still convinced everything could be a trap but that's because we're in hell.

[ She sets the water to boil and leans against the counter. ]

Well! Do you know what's changed for you? Aside from being in hell?

[ Honestly, he isn't entirely sure himself. Being emotional or reactive was not allowed when you were a priest, even more so when you're a black magic user. However, he felt he would explain what he did know, which was the reasons behind their decisions. ]

When the gods or God is upset or angry, which seemed like it was the case last month, it is often because the people have taken too much of their gifts or magic. It is a regular practice to make sacrifices to them to give back to the Earth, thus continuing the appropriate cycle.

[ Mahaad found that he could rationalize that but continued to think about what he was feeling. Why should he be angry? Wasn't it his job to adhere to Atem's will? Why be mad that he made the decision to do something so dangerous...

Even thinking about it was causing the lump in his throat and his cheeks to burn. ]

I am not certain. Last month, Atem was witness to some of my deeper memories, to the guilt I had felt. My true experience when his father passed and the night I wanted to take him, Mana and run. To save him from that life.

After that, we promised to always be honest with each other and not allow these things to happen again. I suppose that may be why I am so upset.

[ Also always having to...you know...shove any feeling down ever. ]

If Atem.... If Atem didn't get it right, it could backfire.

[ Annie sucks her lips in as if she swallowed a lemon for a moment before letting them pop out. ]

So there are two main texts we read from when we're studying our faith. The Old and New Testament. With the Old Testament? There is a lot in there about His wrath. He turned a city of people who weren't just sinners, but truly awful people, into pillars of salt. Like. Nothing was left but salt.

That's the kind of wrath we have to be careful about invoking.

[ She lets that sink in for a moment. ]

I think you're angry because you have given so much to keeping Atem alive. You love him. I also think you never had time to really process what that kind of love means.

I.... I loved my friends dearly. Thankfully, we were mostly equals, so they could call me out on my shit. In your case, with him? There's a power semblance. That's a fact. Which... means he may not really understand that for you his actions do have consequences.

[ Love him? Certainly, he loved Atem, as his pharaoh. But this was more then that. This was as his friend...right? Love was such a strange concept as a priest and direct servant to the royal family. He had devoted his life to the royal family and knew that he would not have the opportunity to develop a relationship. His siblings, his sisters, provided the next in line. Not him.

Deciding to abandon that emotion for the time being, Mahaad nodded. ]

I would be interested in this Old Testament...it may be beneficial to know what type of punishments that "God" invoked to evolve our strategies.

As for Atem...I believe that is very true. He was made king at 11 years old...it is hard to see how your actions affect others when your entire life you have to think about protecting your kingdom.

[ Now that the bandages were done, he turned to face Annie a little better. ]

Thank you, Annie, for your wisdom. I find that I am indebted to you again for your assistance and perspective.

[ Annie thinks everyone should love their close friends. What is wrong with people for not accepting that there are as many flavors of love as there is ice cream at fucking Baskin-Robbins.

Nerds. Not being in touch with their feelings. ]

He did lose his shit a few times. Hopefully he doesn't flood us all. That's actually on the list.

[ A few weeks after this Annie will kick herself for not thinking of very Egyptian punishments. She is thinking of Noah's ark right now. ]

Holy shit. He was a child. No wonder he is having issues now. That's some trauma right there.

[ He lost his father at eleven. Annie can't imagine growing up without her parents.

Atem... is no longer an irresponsible jerk in Annie's mind. He is a traumatized dumbass who needs friends. She can do that! Maybe. ]

Mahaad. We're friends. This is part of what friends do.

I apologize, it is not an unfamiliar concept to me, but it is hard not to compartmentilize relationships. It is a struggle when you are raised to trust only a few people.

[ Mahaad bowed his head the same. ]

I will talk to Atem when I am ready. It should only serve to help him realize the consequences of his decisions.

I had Katie to fix that problem.

[ She smiles fondly at the memory of her first friend. ]

It takes time to learn new things. I just.... I think sometimes I care so easily because being allowed to have the friends I did changed me.

Also? If you need to talk it out more, I'll be here for you.

Ah, I believe I have been able to work through why I am so angry, thanks to your experience.

[ Mahaad gives her a rare smile. He really did enjoy the other's company and perspective. ]

Your friendship truly is appreciated.

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