ohmyscream | Penance Inbox

[ Mahaad nodded but remained silent. Would this place be doomed just like their home? Was there nothing he could do?

Also, why was he so bothered by this? Why was he so mad... ]

I know that he was wanting to do what we believe in. It wasn't wrong. However, his continued activation of the spell became the reason one of his friends was stabbed.

He says he is trying to protect everyone, but his actions do not indicate that he is doing that.

[ Mahaad is careful to get up and open his room door, Abayomi bounding out now to run around. He gets one of her toys and throws it, allowing her to play. ]

I will forgive him, but I suppose I should give myself time as well. I find myself experiencing emotions stronger then I have before.

[ She has no idea what is really troubling Mahaad. She just knows that there's more than him being upset by Atem putting himself in more danger than he should have.

Should she ask? ]

Huh. I mean fair. You know how you'd get in touch with your gods in a desperate time. It couldn't hurt, either. The scripture talks about.... please tell me you basically sacrificed a sheep or goat in a bid to more or less go "hello we have a message or request"? That's almost the right way to go about it?

I'm not sure God is super into the dramatics of a black magic ritual.

[ Annie sighs as she putters about. What can she say? ]

I don't know him. It took me since.... the New Year to stop feeling half-mad from my time in that magical realm. I was jumping at shadows and convinced everything was a trap. I'm still convinced everything could be a trap but that's because we're in hell.

[ She sets the water to boil and leans against the counter. ]

Well! Do you know what's changed for you? Aside from being in hell?

[ Honestly, he isn't entirely sure himself. Being emotional or reactive was not allowed when you were a priest, even more so when you're a black magic user. However, he felt he would explain what he did know, which was the reasons behind their decisions. ]

When the gods or God is upset or angry, which seemed like it was the case last month, it is often because the people have taken too much of their gifts or magic. It is a regular practice to make sacrifices to them to give back to the Earth, thus continuing the appropriate cycle.

[ Mahaad found that he could rationalize that but continued to think about what he was feeling. Why should he be angry? Wasn't it his job to adhere to Atem's will? Why be mad that he made the decision to do something so dangerous...

Even thinking about it was causing the lump in his throat and his cheeks to burn. ]

I am not certain. Last month, Atem was witness to some of my deeper memories, to the guilt I had felt. My true experience when his father passed and the night I wanted to take him, Mana and run. To save him from that life.

After that, we promised to always be honest with each other and not allow these things to happen again. I suppose that may be why I am so upset.

[ Also always having to...you know...shove any feeling down ever. ]

If Atem.... If Atem didn't get it right, it could backfire.

[ Annie sucks her lips in as if she swallowed a lemon for a moment before letting them pop out. ]

So there are two main texts we read from when we're studying our faith. The Old and New Testament. With the Old Testament? There is a lot in there about His wrath. He turned a city of people who weren't just sinners, but truly awful people, into pillars of salt. Like. Nothing was left but salt.

That's the kind of wrath we have to be careful about invoking.

[ She lets that sink in for a moment. ]

I think you're angry because you have given so much to keeping Atem alive. You love him. I also think you never had time to really process what that kind of love means.

I.... I loved my friends dearly. Thankfully, we were mostly equals, so they could call me out on my shit. In your case, with him? There's a power semblance. That's a fact. Which... means he may not really understand that for you his actions do have consequences.

[ Love him? Certainly, he loved Atem, as his pharaoh. But this was more then that. This was as his friend...right? Love was such a strange concept as a priest and direct servant to the royal family. He had devoted his life to the royal family and knew that he would not have the opportunity to develop a relationship. His siblings, his sisters, provided the next in line. Not him.

Deciding to abandon that emotion for the time being, Mahaad nodded. ]

I would be interested in this Old Testament...it may be beneficial to know what type of punishments that "God" invoked to evolve our strategies.

As for Atem...I believe that is very true. He was made king at 11 years old...it is hard to see how your actions affect others when your entire life you have to think about protecting your kingdom.

[ Now that the bandages were done, he turned to face Annie a little better. ]

Thank you, Annie, for your wisdom. I find that I am indebted to you again for your assistance and perspective.

[ Annie thinks everyone should love their close friends. What is wrong with people for not accepting that there are as many flavors of love as there is ice cream at fucking Baskin-Robbins.

Nerds. Not being in touch with their feelings. ]

He did lose his shit a few times. Hopefully he doesn't flood us all. That's actually on the list.

[ A few weeks after this Annie will kick herself for not thinking of very Egyptian punishments. She is thinking of Noah's ark right now. ]

Holy shit. He was a child. No wonder he is having issues now. That's some trauma right there.

[ He lost his father at eleven. Annie can't imagine growing up without her parents.

Atem... is no longer an irresponsible jerk in Annie's mind. He is a traumatized dumbass who needs friends. She can do that! Maybe. ]

Mahaad. We're friends. This is part of what friends do.

I apologize, it is not an unfamiliar concept to me, but it is hard not to compartmentilize relationships. It is a struggle when you are raised to trust only a few people.

[ Mahaad bowed his head the same. ]

I will talk to Atem when I am ready. It should only serve to help him realize the consequences of his decisions.

I had Katie to fix that problem.

[ She smiles fondly at the memory of her first friend. ]

It takes time to learn new things. I just.... I think sometimes I care so easily because being allowed to have the friends I did changed me.

Also? If you need to talk it out more, I'll be here for you.

Ah, I believe I have been able to work through why I am so angry, thanks to your experience.

[ Mahaad gives her a rare smile. He really did enjoy the other's company and perspective. ]

Your friendship truly is appreciated.

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