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Personality
May. 15th, 2020 09:47 pmWhen it comes to....Work: Due to Annie's parents pushing her to be the best from an early age Annie has this drive to always try and get better every day at whatever she may be working on. Of course on that same note if she can't get it right away Annie will start to beat herself up due to a drive to always be the best. Annie has difficulty accepting failure is a part of learning to succeed. This won't stop her from continuing but it does create a lot of internalized frustration in her. Annie also is aware that she is almost always frustrated with herself over something. Depending on how much she feels pressured to succeed at something will also play into her current levels of frustration.
Annie usually finds ways to vent her frustration with herself that she thinks are healthy. She will hop on a tread mill and put a playlist on to keep moving until she is either tired or feeling less angry at herself. Either way Annie feels like doing this gives her some control over that sharp edge she can feel inside of herself. If anything this feeling of control makes it easier for Annie to face the world.
When it comes to.... Play: Annie loves a lot of things. She enjoys music, dancing with her friends, and older movies. Anything with lots of pep and color will have her all over it. Annie has a strong love for bright cheery things that are over the top when it comes to music.
For movies, she has a very broad taste. Musicals that she can belt out the songs to while using a hair brush as a prop for a microphone to sing with. This is of course where her playful goofy side comes out. Something about musicals wakes up Annie's deeply buried inner child.
She also does enjoy really terrible old horror movies. There is something to be said about getting to yell at the television when other people are making terrible choices that is a deeply satisfying to her.
When it comes to....Fear:Annie doesn't have a lot of things she is afraid of. She knows that there are some things a girl should just be scared of, but she tends to find reasons not to get too nervous or frightened by normal fears. Jump scares with make her pull back slightly. However, when it comes to physical danger Annie for reasons she can't quite figure out tends to get very angry. How dare anyone think they can just get away with it. If a person is putting Annie in physical danger for whatever reason Annie just finds herself angry that they would even think to hurt her. Although if anyone were to figure out that she has been quietly battling depression on her own that would actually scare her. The idea of having that under close scrutiny would be enough to send Annie into a cold sweat.
When it comes to....Love: Love and affection are very important to Annie. Her parents may have been pushing her all the time but Annie never doubted their love for her. If she did need help she knew that they were there for her. That was exactly why when she started making friends Annie figured out how to express her affection for them. She was never afraid to let them know she cared. The idea of someone not having a friend to tell them how awesome they were actually bothered Annie, so she did strive to make sure everyone around her knew they were valued.
The idea of not having people to care about does make Annie a bit sad. She hasn't quite realized this is because she is a people pleaser.
When it comes to...Hate: Annie would be the first to admit that hate doesn't come easy to her. Anger is an easier emotion for her to understand. Annie gets how hot it makes her blood feel and how sometimes she just wants to rip someone to shreds. She doesn't think she can physically do that or get away with it so going after them verbally while poking and needling at any weaknesses she can see suits her just fine. Thankfully she has learned just when it is okay to really let loose on someone when she is well and truly angry with them.
Control is just so important to her after all. Rage gets to be on her terms not theirs. It is even worse if she is caught off guard with her anger. The loss of control still gets to her on a deeply personal level.
True hate is one of those things for Annie where someone has to do things that are so terrible she cannot bring herself to look past it. Once a line has been crossed Annie cannot forgive them and if she can't just drop them from her life while severing ties that is when hate comes into play. The line would be if they had betrayed her trust on a profound level or caused an injury whether emotional or physical to someone Annie loves. (For example Annie hates her boyfriend Dylan now that she knows what he did and was willing to do to her. She would have broken up with him properly had she not been defending herself from him.)
When it comes to.... Sadness: Annie is prone to feeling blue. She has moments where she wants the world to just shut up. She used to get blue before everything started to feel like she was no longer in control. The idea of not being able to control her own destiny does make her both angry and sad in a way that just leaves her feeling emotionally drained. Annie has gotten good at putting on a mask when these moods hit. It certainly doesn't help Annie that with the loss of all of her closest friends has left her with a gaping emotional wound. Currently, this is her first time dealing with grief and it is having a huge toll on her due to her genuinely missing her friends and having no idea how to deal it all. Eventually she will figure out how to process it but for now she has to deal with the roller coaster ride that comes with trying to deal with both grief and depression at the same time.
When it comes to.... Joy: Even with her periods of depression that Annie is working on she does mostly have good days. She likes being a cheer leader now. She loves being around lots of people and is a very social creature. Being around people she cares about brings her joy. She enjoys meeting new people too because you never know when you'll meet your new best friend. At the very least Annie wants to be sure that at any point she is always presenting her best face to people she may meet.
Annie usually finds ways to vent her frustration with herself that she thinks are healthy. She will hop on a tread mill and put a playlist on to keep moving until she is either tired or feeling less angry at herself. Either way Annie feels like doing this gives her some control over that sharp edge she can feel inside of herself. If anything this feeling of control makes it easier for Annie to face the world.
When it comes to.... Play: Annie loves a lot of things. She enjoys music, dancing with her friends, and older movies. Anything with lots of pep and color will have her all over it. Annie has a strong love for bright cheery things that are over the top when it comes to music.
For movies, she has a very broad taste. Musicals that she can belt out the songs to while using a hair brush as a prop for a microphone to sing with. This is of course where her playful goofy side comes out. Something about musicals wakes up Annie's deeply buried inner child.
She also does enjoy really terrible old horror movies. There is something to be said about getting to yell at the television when other people are making terrible choices that is a deeply satisfying to her.
When it comes to....Fear:Annie doesn't have a lot of things she is afraid of. She knows that there are some things a girl should just be scared of, but she tends to find reasons not to get too nervous or frightened by normal fears. Jump scares with make her pull back slightly. However, when it comes to physical danger Annie for reasons she can't quite figure out tends to get very angry. How dare anyone think they can just get away with it. If a person is putting Annie in physical danger for whatever reason Annie just finds herself angry that they would even think to hurt her. Although if anyone were to figure out that she has been quietly battling depression on her own that would actually scare her. The idea of having that under close scrutiny would be enough to send Annie into a cold sweat.
When it comes to....Love: Love and affection are very important to Annie. Her parents may have been pushing her all the time but Annie never doubted their love for her. If she did need help she knew that they were there for her. That was exactly why when she started making friends Annie figured out how to express her affection for them. She was never afraid to let them know she cared. The idea of someone not having a friend to tell them how awesome they were actually bothered Annie, so she did strive to make sure everyone around her knew they were valued.
The idea of not having people to care about does make Annie a bit sad. She hasn't quite realized this is because she is a people pleaser.
When it comes to...Hate: Annie would be the first to admit that hate doesn't come easy to her. Anger is an easier emotion for her to understand. Annie gets how hot it makes her blood feel and how sometimes she just wants to rip someone to shreds. She doesn't think she can physically do that or get away with it so going after them verbally while poking and needling at any weaknesses she can see suits her just fine. Thankfully she has learned just when it is okay to really let loose on someone when she is well and truly angry with them.
Control is just so important to her after all. Rage gets to be on her terms not theirs. It is even worse if she is caught off guard with her anger. The loss of control still gets to her on a deeply personal level.
True hate is one of those things for Annie where someone has to do things that are so terrible she cannot bring herself to look past it. Once a line has been crossed Annie cannot forgive them and if she can't just drop them from her life while severing ties that is when hate comes into play. The line would be if they had betrayed her trust on a profound level or caused an injury whether emotional or physical to someone Annie loves. (For example Annie hates her boyfriend Dylan now that she knows what he did and was willing to do to her. She would have broken up with him properly had she not been defending herself from him.)
When it comes to.... Sadness: Annie is prone to feeling blue. She has moments where she wants the world to just shut up. She used to get blue before everything started to feel like she was no longer in control. The idea of not being able to control her own destiny does make her both angry and sad in a way that just leaves her feeling emotionally drained. Annie has gotten good at putting on a mask when these moods hit. It certainly doesn't help Annie that with the loss of all of her closest friends has left her with a gaping emotional wound. Currently, this is her first time dealing with grief and it is having a huge toll on her due to her genuinely missing her friends and having no idea how to deal it all. Eventually she will figure out how to process it but for now she has to deal with the roller coaster ride that comes with trying to deal with both grief and depression at the same time.
When it comes to.... Joy: Even with her periods of depression that Annie is working on she does mostly have good days. She likes being a cheer leader now. She loves being around lots of people and is a very social creature. Being around people she cares about brings her joy. She enjoys meeting new people too because you never know when you'll meet your new best friend. At the very least Annie wants to be sure that at any point she is always presenting her best face to people she may meet.
